Playing In The Shadows
by trythisforexample
Summary: To say that it's complicated would be an understatement. As they grow older, Joe and Nick Jonas struggle to deal with the implications of the feelings between them. WARNING: !INCEST! JOICK


With the hustle and bustle of the airport whirling around him, Joe was a bag of nerves. The rest of the Jonas family were excitably talking and waiting in the arrivals area whilst he stood toe to toe with the glass windows that looked out onto the runway. He swallowed hard when he watched that plane, _his_ plane, touch down on the tarmac.

There were too many emotions for Joe to sift through, nervousness to excitement, excitement to anxiety and back to nervousness again. His stomach was swimming and he sort of wanted to vomit, palms sweating and muscles tensing more and more with every passing moment.

The passengers were starting to pass through the arrivals gate now, Joe breathing deep and often as he re-joined his excitable family, ignoring whatever Frankie was babbling to him and ringing his hands together. It was weird, to be so ready for this and yet so very _not _ready all in the same breath. It'd certainly been a while-45 days and counting-but Joe found himself wishing for one more day to just.. he didn't know what really, maybe to prepare himself.

In any case it was too late for wishful thinking, because the shrill tone of his mother's shriek rang clear through his ears and then he saw him, saw his baby brother on the horizon with a smile on his face and eyes only for Joe. The elder of the two almost imploded.

'Nick!' Their father grinned, and then suddenly the younger boy was just right _there_, within touching distance and real and not just a face on a screen or a voice on the phone. He was _here_, and Joe wasn't sure who made the move first but suddenly he had two armfuls of Nick and it was just so _good_, and the younger boy held onto him so tight and all of Joe's anxiety melted, gave way to blistering relief because he was just so_ happy_ his brother was home, just felt so whole and it was cheesy to think that but it was true, because when the younger boy wasn't with him Joe felt like he was half a person.

And finally standing there a whole person again, he positively trembled when Nick nuzzled his neck, inhaled a deep breath of him and exhaled it with a secret kiss to Joe's collarbone. The elder of the two was still dizzy when Nick eventually disentangled himself and embraced the rest of his family, and he was still riding the high in the car on the way back home, the younger boys thigh resting gently against Joe's in a way that said _'I know'_, because the older boy was finding it hard to contain himself and it comforted him a little to know that Nick understood without a single word needing to be exchanged between the two of them.

He tried his best to calm down and just _breathe_, lolling his head back against the seat and pressing his thigh a little more firmly to Nick's, and it wasn't even about it being sexual or anything like that, he just wanted to _touch _theyounger boy, because it'd been so _long_ and now he was here and he was so warm and just.. just _Nick_.

And as the rest of the family talked to him excitably about his travels Joe just watched him, stomach fluttering at the way his baby brother was growing up. He was 19 now, soft curls gone in favour of a new, much shorter and constrained haircut. It definitely looked good on him, but Joe would be lying if he said he didn't miss the curls something terrible.

With his new haircut there'd been a change in Nick too, so the older of the two thought anyway. Maybe it was just growing up but, he seemed different, and more so in his personality than in his features actually. Joe had always described his brother as an old head on young shoulders but, lately that was becoming more and more truthful.

They'd spent so much time apart doing their own things that at first Joe hadn't really noticed it, but now that they were back together, now that the Jonas Brothers were once again making music he'd really begun to see it over the last few months. The days of playful Nick seemed to be getting fewer and further in between, and though Joe had always prided himself on his ability to make the younger boy smile regardless of the situation, even he had to admit that it was getting increasingly difficult to achieve lately.

It was confusing, but Joe figured maybe Nick was just destined to be the more mature of the two of them. He always had been anyway, really. Maybe Joe just hadn't noticed it before.

In any case he forgot his ponderings for now, because they'd spent so much time apart lately and finally Nick was back home for a little while and it was just no _nice_. Sometimes Joe felt a little like his brother was passing him by, what with him being off performing on Broadway and making his own music, and the older of the two was relishing the prospect of a little time to just hold Nick to him and protect him from the outside world like he had done since they were little. A lot of the time the idea of his baby brother out in the world on his own was an uncomfortable one to say the least, and so with Nick's thigh pressed to his own and the smile he flashed when he caught Joe staring, the elder brother was for once a very content Jonas.

Even more so when they arrived home, when they went upstairs to 'unpack', and when before he could really have a moment to breathe Joe was pressed up against Nick's bedroom door with the younger boys lips harsh and so good against his own, hands wandering and scratching and marking familiar territory, and _finally _Joe could lose the anxiety he'd been carrying around on his shoulders whilst they were apart, wrapping Nick in the shelter of him arms and for the first time in those 45 days, Joe could breathe.

X X X


End file.
